This is a three part series on relationships. Although it is told from a heterosexual point of view, the same issues apply for the LGBT community.
Are you a person who despairs of ever finding the right partner? Have you ever clarified what would constitute a “right” partner? If the “perfect” partner was in front of your nose, would you recognize him/her?
While I hear a lot of complaining to the contrary, there are many good single men and women available in your area who hunger for loving companionship. Yet, many are stopped by:
F # 1 – Fantasy
For instance, if you are a woman, you may be looking for a handsome man who’s richer, smarter, and taller than you…say, someone like Warren Beatty or George Clooney. Did you notice that of those two libertines, one married late in life and the other has had a revolving door of women? Have you noticed that, often, really handsome men get lots of attention from other women whether it is invited or not and whether or not the man is married
If you are a man looking for that perfect doll, like Natalie Portman or
Penelope Cruz, you must ask yourself if you’re a corresponding look-alike of Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt.
Many are unwilling to admit it, but they are searching for that knight in shining armor, or the beautiful princess – both fantasies, for sure. Even if you are able to fulfill them initially, fantasies are certain to disappoint you down the line. If your fantasy is a hot, sexy person, and you have your fantasy fulfilled, passion may blur any rationality about them and their issues, and come back to bite you.
Here are three questions to ask yourself regarding your tendency to set your sites on a fantasy mate. You may discover a roadblock or two…
- Do you automatically dismiss a guy who doesn’t stand out from the crowd?
- Do you know the exact partner you are looking for including his body type, the color of his hair and eyes, his clothing style, and his desires and passions?
- Must he make a particular salary for you to give your heart?
- Must your lady be beautiful?
- Does your expectation of your prospective woman include an absolute about her weight, height and shape?
- Do you refuse a potential partner that is immediately interested in you and prefer someone you have to work for?
A “yes” answer to any of these questions indicates an opportunity to change your thought processes and emotions to revise your search for a life partner. Being open minded about the “package” your partner comes in will broaden your chances for a happy partnership. Those self-induced fantasies, based on superficiality, can block you from attracting a delicious, fulfilling relationship.